Friday, August 27, 2010


When JT started the academy, one of the major questions on my mind was: "Is our relationship going to change?" I think, even after just a few weeks (and maybe only one of those weeks really counts) we've established that, yes, it has changed some things. We have to set aside one evening a week to be together--with really zero time together apart from that. But despite all that, the love is there. It's not going anywhere.

Although my relationship with my husband has been put on the back-burner to a certain degree, it's worth taking a few minutes to acknowledge the other relationships in my life that have grown and flourished, helping me cope through this time.

  • My parents: When I'm feeling like a single mom and I need someone to help me cook or just give the baby some love for a while so that I can take care of everything else, my parents are there for me. They don't judge me. They offer the same unconditional love to my daughter that they gave to me.
  • My in-laws: I used to be paranoid that my mother-in-law judged me--because it just so happens she's like Mrs. Homemaker of the Universe. Her house is always immaculate. Also, it was hard to have much of a relationship because she mostly speaks Spanish, a language I'm still learning. But anyway, she's actually a pretty good person and I think I'm growing on her. Last week she hugged me, crying, thanking me for taking care of her son. I know she loves JY too, and always wants to babysit. As for my father-in-law--we have an interesting bond. Although JT and I don't share a lot of common political beliefs, his dad and I do. We actually talked on the phone for forty-five minutes today, just politics. He's pretty cool. All told, my in-laws are good people and I'm lucky to have them.
  • Police wives: The ladies I've talked to through blogger and policewives and other sites are such a help and support system to me. Although I haven't met you I know I can share my deepest feelings and concerns with you, and that I'm never really alone. You rock. Also, I've gotten to know a couple of the other recruits' wives from JT's academy class. They truly humble me with their coolness. Their husbands are "independents" so they are working full-time to support them and pay the bills. They have moved here from far away, leaving family and friends so that their husbands could go to this particular academy. Their sacrifices are really amazing.
  • Friends: I haven't had a lot of time for girl friends, but when I have gotten together with them, it's been therapeutic and worthwhile. And really, I did get to go to both Disneyland and the beach in the past month. That's pretty good!
  • Last, but probably most important, My Baby, JY: My little Jedi Youngling and I have a wonderful bond. She laughs with me, cries with me, squeals with me, plays peek-a-boo with me. Her smile always brings me joy. I love her with all my heart, and I do believe the feeling is mutual. Together we are learning to be a team and support each other through all our adventures. She's an amazingly good and happy baby, and when she cries it's only because she needs her mommy.
I've been reluctant to share any photos of us for JT's sake. He's a very private person. But I don't think it could really hurt to share a pic of our almost-six-month-old. So here she is, taken a few weeks ago, before academy started:


  1. Adorable!

    And you are doing the right thing by gathering your support "groups" near you. You will need them! :)

  2. She is precious!
    Completely understanding the language barrier. I'm trying to jump that hurdle myself. Chancho's family speaks Spanish and I know little to none of it. Happy to hear that she's acknowledging what a wonderful wife you are!