Monday, August 9, 2010


About a week ago, I noticed a deep cut on JT's left wrist. When I asked him where he got it he said he didn't know. Well, last night he told me. He gave it to himself.

He explained that he gets anxiety attacks every morning now. These are marked by nausea. So sometimes he digs his fingernails into his skin to keep from throwing up.

JT has had anxiety his whole life. He used to be afraid of Disneyland as a child. He used to be afraid of school too and would stay home with stomach aches that went away after a few hours. But the minute his parents took him back to school he would get nauseous again and spend the rest of the day hiding out in the bathroom.

When I met him, he had grown out of this anxiety for the most part, with the help of some medications that did damage to his liver. On our third date, he told me that he was nauseous, because he always got nauseous in the face of something new and exciting. But apart from that one day, the only time I ever saw him anxious was when his band was playing gigs (they're on hiatus now). He never ate before a show. He said he was afraid he would throw up at any moment.

Now that his life is changing, now that he has a new job and will work for a new department and has a ton of new things to learn and a ton of pressure to get them right, his anxiety has come back full force. And he's mutilating himself in an effort to keep it hidden.

He's looking for remedies. He no longer takes medication but is considering going back to that. Personally, I believe in treating the problem at the source: I think meditation or hypnotherapy could do him some good. JT is a Buddhist, but he never meditates. I think if he could try doing that for a little while every morning it might help soothe his mind.

What do my readers think? Any other suggestions for dealing with anxiety--herbal remedies, mental remedies, etc--are welcome.


  1. A big role in lifting morale it is your own will and autosuggestion.
    Besides St. John's Wort, which is the most popular herb for depression, Valerian (Valeriana officinalis), Lime linden (Tilia cordata) and Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca) also gave good results.

  2. I would love to talk to you about this some more. However, I feel it is a subject matter left more personal (at least for me) But I have dealt with something very much like this, and woud be happy to talk with you about it more. You can email me at Until then I wish you both the best of luck. Seeing there is an issue is the first big step :)

  3. Thank you for your support and suggestions!

  4. He really should try the herbal route first for his anxiety. With my husbands department, if they take any sort of anxiety medication, they are considered not fit for duty and they can terminate him. He sounds like he's under a lot of stress from the preacademy and unfortunately, that is the way it will stay until he's out of the academy. I also have had personal experience with this if you want to email me,