I don't think I spoke with my husband for longer than 2 minutes in total today. But according to his facebook page, it was kind-of a rough day. He got his baton taken away during inspection. They try to take the recruits' weapons to see what will happen if a criminal tries something and the recruits have to wise up about not letting their teachers get them. Also, JT got the whole class two extra sets of exercises because he fumbled the words of one of the class sergeant commands.
I may not have had real police academy instructors yelling at me, but do the voices in my head count?
I was supposed to sing for a funeral this morning for the grandfather of a good friend of mine. Because we only have one alarm clock, and it's always set to the crack-of-dawn time that JT wakes up, and furthermore because I usually work nights at the library, I did not get up. I got a phone call from my friend asking where I was and bolted awake. I climbed into a black dress, started throwing diapers and bottles into a diaper bag, and lugging my purse and some stuff I'd need for work later out to the car. Then I woke up JY, strapped her into her car seat and carried her off...
WITHOUT EVEN FEEDING HER, OR CHANGING HER WET DIAPER.
Yes. I really should get Mother of the Year for that one. But why stop there? I'm sure Friend of the Year isn't out of reach. After all, I was supposed to sing for my friend's very sad and very important occasion and I overslept.
The amazing thing is, I actually made it in time for the beginning of the funeral. I live out in the boonies and it's usually an hour's drive to the city where this funeral was. But I made it in thirty minutes. I didn't even break any laws. There was also an accident that created traffic. How on earth did I make it?
Did my friend's grandpa in heaven slow time down for me to get there? As far as I'm concerned that's as good an explanation as any. The hearse had just driven up and the funeral had not yet begun. There was still time to bring the baby in to my mother (who showed up at the church to watch her for me), catch my breath, and prepare the first song.
Still, I was beating myself up the entire drive there and the entire service. You're such a jerk. You're a terrible friend. You're a terrible person. What kind of person promises to do something to help a friend and then doesn't even remember to set an alarm to wake themselves up?
The kind of person who is already overextended but always says "yes" anyway.
And what was going through poor JY's head as my mother tried to soothe her with the words, "Look up there! Your mama's up there singing! That's your mama!" She burst out screaming. She was probably thinking, What the heck are you doing up there, mommy? AND WHY ARE YOU NOT FEEDING ME??
If only doing twenty push-ups could make my drill sergeant's voice go away.