Friday, September 10, 2010


JT got fired. From the sounds of how it all went down, it seems like there was some kind of mistake. But that doesn't matter really. There is a story but I don't have the heart to retell it here. Besides, all they told us (therefore all we know for sure) is that they fired him, after only three weeks of academy, for his "overall sub-standard performance."

"But I passed all my tests, and I was only there three weeks," JT said.

That didn't matter.

"I'd really like to know why I'm being fired," he said.

"We don't have to tell you. You're on probation, which means we have the right to fire you at a moment's notice for any reason we want. That's all you need to know. Now if you'd like to resign rather than be fired, sign here."

So he signed the resignation letter. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't give him his dignity back. He'll still be tainted by this if he tries to get a different police officer job.

Three weeks of turning our lives upside-down, only to turn around and ask him to resign for not getting everything right away. JT's department didn't even give him the basic decent chance that his own tactical officers say they would have given him. They were shocked, and felt bad, I think. It was a decision the sergeant made, based on whatever exaggerated or unfair information the tactical staff gave him about JT.

He talked to the dept. he used to work for, tried to get his old jail job back. Isn't gonna happen. He might get a part time dispatch job in his old department though. We'll see what happens with that. We will definitely have to move in any case. Our apartment rent is several hundred dollars more than my overall take-home pay.

The world is falling down around us. It's so unjust. I think the department was just trying to cover up that they're going through a budget crisis. So much for "integrity."

If anybody knows of a book that teaches you how to hold it together for a spouse who has lost his job, please let me know. Because I'm falling apart here. We're starting to argue even, saying things that are hurtful because we're both so scared. I feel like I've been strong long enough through all this academy stuff and now I have to be strong through this... I don't know what we're going to do. The only thing I really feel like doing is giving that sergeant a piece of my mind...

So yeah, if there is anywhere I should turn for advice on how to help a spouse through a career transition or job loss, let me know. So far I'm not handling it that well. I am freaking out. Everything we've worked so hard for has gone up in smoke and they don't even have the decency to give us a straight answer about it.


  1. The way they treated him is simply UNFAIR, but I guess that there's not much you can do about it now, other than to accept the fact that it has happened, that the world is falling around you... Oh my God, I don't even know what to tell you! What I should do is write you a long letter instead, or call you (on your brand new land line!), and be there for you. But right now a friend of mine from Russia is staying with me so I'm swamped and this is the only way that I can tell you that I'm here for you RIGHT NOW AND RIGHT AWAY!!! Don't freak out. I know that's terrible advice. But it is all I can say right now. Take care of each other! Don't fight. You'll need each other's support now more than ever. Try to put all the other shit that's going on aside and be there for each other. Just remain close. That's all I want to say. And that I will pray for you. Hang in there, sweetie. Dostoevsky said "we must fall in order to rise up again"... which is also crappy advice. Eh, Russians!

  2. JW, I'm so sorry that this has happened to your family. The only advice I can give you is to go to and see what other LE agencies are in your area that he could apply for and return to the academy. My only other advice would be to not have DH give his boss any information on how he is doing with the wall or any other information of the like. That could have been one reason they let him go. Just let the reports from teh academy go to the boss and let them take care of what needs taken care of. You don't want to indulge any more information then you have to. I hope he finds something soon!


  3. "Things don't go wrong so you can become bitter and give up. They break you down so you can build yourself right back up and become all that you were intended to be." I have no clue where that quote comes from, but it's a fave of mine and thought you might could use it. Hold your head up, things will get better, they always do.

  4. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now.
    It may not help much, but my hubby and I have found and just about any of his books to be helpful for us.
    Praying for your family...

  5. Oh I'm so very sorry. The one good things is that he 'resigned'. In my neck of the woods that means that he can still get on antoher department by simply saying that the other dept wasn't a good fit and if an ofc resigns, my dept can't tell the new one anything about him bing 'fired'.
    I know it hurts to be strong, but remember that God is there and He will never give you more then you can take. Be joyful even in this tough time becuase God is with you and will bless you even in rough times. The only book I know is the Bible for this situation.
    Please keep us posted!! Good luck and ((((((hugs)))))) and email me if you need a shoulder.

  6. I've been married for 30 years and I do have this bit of advice: don't treat each other like the enemy, nobody is at fault.

    You're a team, so work together and agree to support each other during this time when you both need support.

  7. Wondering how it's going and hoping you're hanging in there. People do get hired after this, I've seen it happen.